The Proof is in the Reading

I have recently been made aware by my very observant mummy that, for the ex Deputy Editor of a student newspaper, I quite often make hilarious typos.  I think her favourite so far is the title of my post about doing extra curricular activities at university; Involve yourself became Invovle yourself.  It sounds a lot better than it looks and I personally think it should be changed to that permanently, just for the comedy value.

But her sentiment stands.  For a grammar nazi and perpetual corrector, I make a lot of mistakes myself.  So, before I become a fully blown hypocrite I hearby swear to properly proof read every post on this here bloggymajig.  And now that I have made that promise, I feel I can have a bit of a grammar rant.

It might seem pathetic.  Grammar is just a tiny detail of the written language, what difference does it really make?  Well.  It makes a huge difference, in my humble opinion.  If it weren’t for grammar, writing would be a long stream that doesn’t make sense.  it becomes really hard to read a sentence when it doesnt follow the simple rules we are taught from childhood because we get so used to them that our brains struggle to compute what they are being presented with when they arent there or when they are used in the wrong way.  There, an epic sentence, with no commas or punctuation.  If you managed to read that, then you must have had a lot of practice!

One of my huge bug bears is the misuse of your/you’re and there/their/they’re.  Your is a possessive.  So its function is to express that something belongs to you.  For example: Can I borrow your pen?  The pen belongs to you, therefore it is yours.  You’re is a contraction of you are.  That is why there is an apostrophe in it.  For example: You’re so generous.  There is a place.  For example: Over there. Their is a possessive like your.  For example: I borrowed their pen.  They’re, you guessed it, is a contraction of they are.  For example: They’re generous too.  I know  it’s easier to write your because, you know, it’s like, 2 characters shorter, and like, the apostrophe takes longer to type, but it is still WRONG.  I don’t like it.  So stop it.

I’m pretty sure I will have lost half of you now, because yeah it’s nitpicking.  But gorramit these are the things that make the English language rich and varied.  If you are going to use apostrophes do it right (they are ALWAYS unecessary in plurals!!!), same goes for semi colons and colons.  It does get confusing when there are so many different rules for one punctuation mark, but it does make a difference.

I am actually saddened by the things I sometimes see on Facebook, where grammar is either nonexistent or abused to within an inch of its life.  If you are going to write in English, please do it properly. n da stuf dat luks lyk dis iz jst trawmatyzin.  :’-(

Now that I have alienated you all with my pretentious babbling, I will sign off.  Happy scribbling!

P.S There is a mini egg for anyone who finds a typo in this post!

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